Ewa

eternitye @ 2009-07-14T08:39:00

2009-07-14T12:41:39Z

man, i'm finally sort of free. i abandoned the gulag. and can go online without the gestapo peeping over my shoulder. but i still have limited time and limited net access (altho i now have julia with me!). i want to write a really long, involved, explanatory and recapatory post to summarize the last 20 months or so, but it will take me some time to feel the vibe.

suffice, for now, to say, that i never thought i would say it but i totally miss the states. i'm moored in poland for the foreseeable future (or europe, at least), and i do love europe, but.. damn it i'm an american after all. and i don't feel 100% myself unless i'm in english!

more to come, i hope.
does anyone still miss me? ;-P i miss you all.

eternitye @ 2007-12-04T19:46:00

2007-12-04T18:49:46Z

Who is your ideal presidential candidate?

http://www.selectsmart.com/president/2008.html

1. Theoretical Ideal Candidate (100%)
2. Barack Obama (89%)
3. Dennis Kucinich (87%)
4. Christopher Dodd (82%)
5. Joseph Biden (82%)
6. Alan Augustson (campaign suspended) (81%)
7. Hillary Clinton (80%)
8. John Edwards (77%)
9. Wesley Clark (not running, endorsed Clinton)
10. Al Gore (not announced)
11. Michael Bloomberg (says he will not run) (72%)
12. Bill Richardson (65%)
13. Mike Gravel (64%)
14. Ron Paul (49%)
15. Elaine Brown (45%)
16. Kent McManigal (campaign suspended) (38%)
17. John McCain (30%)
18. Rudolph Giuliani (28%)
19. Tommy Thompson (withdrawn, endorsed Giuliani) (28%)
20. Mike Huckabee (26%)
21. Chuck Hagel (not running) (20%)
22. Alan Keyes (19%)
23. Mitt Romney (17%)
24. Newt Gingrich (says he will not run) (16%)
25. Sam Brownback (withdrawn, endorsed McCain) (15%)
26. Fred Thompson (12%)
27. Tom Tancredo (10%)
28. Duncan Hunter (8%)
29. Jim Gilmore (withdrawn) (5%)
30. Stephen Colbert (campaign ended) (1%)

Oh, internet quizzes, how I have missed thee!

Update on Ewa

2007-10-28T23:46:37Z

Ewa's livejournal readers:

As most of you probably realize, Ewa has been really struggling with some difficult issues this past year. She had been trying to deal with these issues at home, but that situation is complicated and wasn't working out for her. In response, her parents made the decision to send her to a very rigorous and demanding program back in Poland. I heard from Ewa a couple of days ago, and actually, the program sounds pretty good for her. She's getting a lot of exercise, eating somewhat better and she gets to spend time in a rural environment with horses and stuff. I think that the program might really work out for her.

Nevertheless, Ewa is alone in Poland while most of her friends and family are back here in the United States. The program is by nature very restrictive about communication with the outside world, which means that she can't check email, talk on the phone, or check this livejournal. Also, her birthday is coming up in a little more than a week (November 7). Even though I think her program is pretty good for her, I imagine that Ewa is feeling very lonely, and she'll probably feel especially lonely being so far away on her birthday (which is her 25th, so it's even a mildly significant birthday). Anyway, the reason I say this is that I think it would mean an enormous amount to her if some of her friends from home sent her a birthday card this year. Just a reminder that people on this side of the pond haven't forgotten about her, and that there are people who love her waiting for her to return to the States, I think would be really, really good for her to hear.

Her address is:
Roznowice 34
64-610 Rogozno
Stowarzyszenie "MONAR"
Zaklad Opieki Zdrowotnej
POLAND

I don't know if they'll let her have presents shipped to that address, like I said, they're pretty restrictive at this program. But I think they'll let her have any cards, and maybe small gifts. Anyway, I just can't emphasize enough how much a few simple gestures would mean to her right now. If you know Ewa, it would be a great thing to do for her. And if you (especially you Poorna) know people who know Ewa but aren't likely to check this LJ, spread this address around.

Thanks.

-Dan (satyadaimoku)

If you have any questions about Ewa's current status, feel free to ask me at satyadaimoku@gmail.com, or leave a comment here.

eternitye @ 2007-10-18T17:13:00

2007-10-18T15:15:33Z

the plahe did not get hijacked, nor did it crash. thus, i am alive. leave your address if you want a postcard from the former soviet bloc!

BLOSSOM don't kill me i've been a MESS. (yes, again). i'll call you from here when i can.

love love, and happy birthday to fates_world!!

trying to feel better

2007-09-18T22:18:26Z

i did some legal work for a group that concerns itself with advocacy for the mentally ill. it was good, i thought. i emailed them again to let them know i would love to do legal work (gratis!) for them while i am on leave from school.

Thanks Eva! We were really pleased with the work you did for us, and we will definitely keep you in mind for legal research projects over the next few months. We actually have a strategy session this afternoon that may yield some work, so I’ll let you know just as soon as I have an idea of our research needs.

Thanks again,

Robin

Robin _____(edited)

Managing Attorney

can i feel at least slightly special?

the news pisses me off

2007-09-17T17:16:38Z

ok. so im looking at todays news, and they say "oops, certain agencies are not meeting accountability standards set for them". TOO BAD that those agencies are: 1. the Department of Homeland Security; and 2: the Defense Department. TOO BAD, that the point of accountability is to make sure that budget is meeting expenditures. So, we have the two departments that are responsible for such things as, oh, the "war" in Iraq, and, oh, the complete and obvious stringent and, imho, retarded measures to keep the 'homeland' free from terrorists. them darn terrorists fucking things up for us. **** glower **** Furthermore, this article article was nestled in between articles about how flowers should be tended, and under the BIG HUGE HEADLINE about something that really requires our national attention, namely that the Buffalo Bills lost a game to the Pittsburgh Steelers. Thank God I received that information.

Another thing: the recent criticism (veiled) of Mother Teresa's "crisis of faith". The fuck? The woman worked her ass of as a missionary for the unfortunate, yet we feel the need to find some chintz in her armour. She wrote, to Rev. Lawrence Picachy in August 1959 (TIME magazibe, Sept 3, pg. 41): "Tell me, Father, why is there so much pain and darkness in my soul?"(. Hmm. How scandalous. Because dealing with the sick and infirm; those lots of people who have nothing in their lives, would produce pain and darkness in ANYONE'S soul. What a criticism of empathy. It seems that, as a society, we feel the need to bring others down in order to feel better in our own, less profound, lives.

Oh I dunno. Just needed to get that out.

eternitye @ 2007-09-10T11:17:00

2007-09-10T15:18:30Z

sorry about previous post, dudes. i really appreciate the comments and will make a concerted effort to not be such a drama queen in the future.

le sigh.!

not sure if it is worth it

2007-09-08T04:19:37Z

so i just saw a movie that i feel really conflicted about. on the one hand, it was ludicrous and amusing in its own way, but on the other hand, it made no sense.

the movie i speak of is "Balls of Fury". Now, the concept sounded exceptional - battle of the ping pong masters. However, unlike the other movie whose concept sounded exceptional, namely "Blades of Glory" (please note the similarities of the titles of these two features), Balls seemed to fail to deliver as rollicking of a good time as Blades did.

As far as I could tell, the plot was as follows (omit of you are worried about "spoilers". On the other hand, if you are afraid of "spoilers" for this particular movie, I feel perhaps you have other, unaddressed, problems which may be more significant).

... Kid plays ping pong well and loses. For some reason, his loss means his ex-Marine father is killed. Kid's career plummets because he babbles something about DisneyWorld (I still don't get the DIsneyWorld thing). Flash forward 19 years and Asian Mafia Buster dude, who is Hispanic and referred to as "Secret Agent Man" by the blind ping pong master coach, needs ex-ping pong master Randy to play ping pong again, apparently in order to infiltrate Asian Mafia. Blind dude shall be coach, although it seems his hot half asian neice Maggie is the one that does most of the teaching. They play with spoons. Somehow, all this ends in some sort of secret underground ping pong lair, where Sudden Death matches actually equal death, via a blow dart blown through this large staff thing, courtesy of an ambiguously trans-sexual "woman" with nice, and rather prominently displayed, breasts. Randy;s old nemesis returns, and we are inundated with gratuitous ping pong scenes and deaths before SHOCK AND SURPRISE, Randy faces nemesis again (btw, the nemesis is actually my favorite character due to solely one line he delivers. You'll have to suffer through the entire movie to hear the line. Or, better yet, watch the preview.) Somehow amidst all this, we discover a secret Asian Mafia arms cartel. It is not explained why Christopher Walken is the head of this Asian Mafia Cartel or whathaveyou (I think). There is a super secret ping pong table which electrocutes you when you lose. Actually, it is supposed to electrocute you when you lose, but turns out it electrocutes you whenever Christopher Walken wants it too. Oh yeah, there is some anal spy inplant involved. And gay male courtesans. And Boggle. Anyway, suddenly the movie gets all Crouching Tiger on your ass and there is random Nam-like navigation through bamboo. Explosions. Electrocutions. At some point hot asian and Randy have fallen in love, not sure how I missed that. Blind dude falls down the stairs. The End..

So. That was interesting, then they played Pour some Sugar on me (Def Leppard, apparently Randy's fave) at the end and I danced in the aisle with aplomb.

"Audition" for Kaplan went pretty well, I find out if I scored an interview Mon or Tues.

SO TIRED. Nighty night.

la

2007-09-07T12:44:31Z

salvation army run yesterday!!! so so good, i don't understand why i don't just shop there exclusively!

purchased:
- express beige capris
- wet seal red tight T
- Vote for Pedro T
- beige cargo capri-esque pants
- denim shorts
- three red/maroon sweaters
- purple plaid skirt
- pink/beige striped button up shirt
- yellow furry pillow
- two hippie print wall hanging cloth things
- neato belt
- cute blue stripey purse

Total: $47.80

And I tried on this wedding dress. It was wacky, the thing fit me like a glove right off the rack. But it was very difficult to get on. Damnation. It was fun to play dress up, though. It's been too long; by too long I mean over one week- oh, the horror. ;-)

match.com

2007-09-05T17:45:17Z

a message on match.com that i received and am gloriously entertained by. ha.

Hello,

I am looking for one special someone who I can spoil and be spoiled by. Someone that I can wake up in the morning and give kisses to and than make breakfast for. Someone that likes to hold hands and kiss when they are 80 years old and be in more love than because they have shared more memories together. Someone who will spoil me back and make me feel cared for. I am looking for a true connection. Someone who is my other half. I am looking for something rare to find that many times people settle because they are not willing to go through all the effort it will take to find this special person. I am willing to put the extra effort in and will search until I do find her. She will be beautiful and all will see this, but what they will not know is what I know that she is even more beautiful on the inside. The connection we share is one of true intimacy. We share a connection of our souls. When we are apart we are still connected. We have searched for each other for most of our life and now when we touch we know what heaven is like. Our dreams are moments we shared together. Our thoughts are of what we will do together in the future. Others will look to us and realize what love really is supposed to be. We will always be smiling for each of us knows that we have something special and we have searched for it for a long time. We can be seen looking into each others eyes until late at night and talking about our future. Yes, I know these things are rare but I know that this is what I will seek for I know that the rest of my life will be spent in the joy of her company. I only want to be known as the man who accomplied my mate through life and when we leave this world to join with her in heaven.

Hope to hear from you,

Don

I am very very erotic and sensual with the right woman

... uhm, yeah. and he doesn't have a picture, or i am sure i could entertain myself even further. it just says "37 yr old man in washington d.c." or whatnot.

I mean, really, dude, do you honestly think someone is going to RESPOND to a message like that? When it is screaming "psycho" all over the place? Really. Save the schmaltz for AT THE VERY LEAST a couple months in. If you can find a woman you can blinker into thinking you are worth sticking around for. I think I would, personally, vomit on this dude.

Ha.

haaa.

I should write more in here rather than just cut and paste or whatever BUT i am lazy. perhaps I shall write more tonight? yeah. wishful thinking, I know.

poop.

question

2007-08-30T19:31:32Z

What is the evolutionary/nature-preferred value of humans having distinct fingerprints? I suppose you could ask it about dental profiles as well. But individually non-repeated fingerprints seem more useless. As far as nature goes that is. Obviously they are use for cops, etc. And why are they different from every person to every person?

Eh. I'm sure wikipedia has all the answers. It usually does. What's the point of grade school anymore? Just make kids read wikipedia all the time from when they are able to read. I guess we need school to teach them to read. And learn social skills. Or more probably, anti-social skills, depending on their position in the various social strata.

I am going to shut up now.

eternitye @ 2007-08-30T14:52:00

2007-08-30T18:53:50Z

it SUCKS majorly to be so broke, that I can't even go to the dollar theatre. And as going to bars and getting boys to buy me drinks, that is sort of out as a form of entertainment, even if i weren't in rochester.

so. it sucks. to further rub it in my own face how ridiculously poor i am compared to some people, i went to this extra fancy swanky clothing store in pittsford village called l'avant garbe. they have like, filtered water and coffee as you enter and extremely EXTREMELY expensive clothes. see: picture of me in a, like, 500 or 600 dollar dress which is, like, two feet square of material AT MOST.

i'm pretty sure i could buy fabric and sow something similar myself for like 10 bucks. or so.

anyway. yeah. some people get to enjoy the high life. not me, at the moment.

suck.

but, 60 days today, or something. whoo, gold coin!

eternitye @ 2007-08-27T04:44:00

2007-08-27T08:45:42Z

Heh..Heh heh heh.

TOTALLY forgot about these clips' existence. When me and Bart used to hang in TO, we would sometimes remember to hit up the fucking awesome chinese buffet. With an even more awesome dessert table. No, these were not the healthiest of times, but c'est la vie and the memories remaaaaiiin....

;-)

http://us.share.geocities.com/eternitye/IMGP0606.AVI
http://us.share.geocities.com/eternitye/IMGP0607.AVI

BON APPETIT!!!

new word

2007-08-13T01:04:13Z

shnarfukoodaswerginghrrdudoojrakushlifrrrrrruk.

or something. idk. no good word exists that can catalogue how absurdly BLAH i feel about life, the universe, and everything. what else is new? blah, blah, blah.

I WANT MY UNHEALTHY COPING MECHANISMS BACK, dammit, THEY ARE BETTER THAN NONE.

eternitye @ 2007-07-13T13:45:00

2007-07-13T17:48:42Z

i need to write more in here. unfortunately not much to say as my life, currently, sucks. go me. i'm bored and sad and lonely and it's taking a LOT of effort to screen out all the bad thoughts - like beating myself up for everything i have screwed up. all the way back to undergrad. so, i have been reading approximately two books a day to try to escape reality. and going to two meetings a day, which at least guarantees that I will get out of bed and get dressed. and sort of interact with people.

fucking suck. at least i get a visitor this weekend!! get to show of the sights of rochester, whoo. i'd rather be the one doing the visiting sos I could get away from the mother beast, but oh well. no one wants me and i'm under house arrest anyway.

fucking suck.
whatever.

you know you are a dork when...

2007-07-11T15:01:25Z

you spend a conversation (online, of course) attempting to discern what D&D Alignment best fits certain Supreme Court Justices, and reach an impasse on whether Scalitos are more Neutral Evil, or Lawful Evil.

I am Chaotic Good.. and a Dork!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alignment_(Dungeons_&_Dragons)

eternitye @ 2007-07-09T21:01:00

2007-07-10T01:02:08Z

the new law mail server thing is LAME AND STOOOPIC

i hate it with a vengeance.

addicts DO NOT LIKE CHANGE, MUTHA FUCKAS!!!!!!!

eternitye @ 2007-07-07T15:07:00

2007-07-07T19:08:00Z

aaaaand another userpic! omg kewlzzzzzzz ;-P

eternitye @ 2007-07-06T16:54:00

2007-07-06T20:54:49Z

le big fat sigh. i wish i could fast forward 6 months and just be passably normal already. just passably. i can't ask for miracles, as i will never be normal normal. nor do i want to be :-P

funny fuse blown!

2007-07-03T15:24:00Z

pfffft

2007-07-01T12:20:53Z

why am i such a stereotypical... something... i can't even think of what I am a stereotype of but anyway.

i am so mired in my own 'figuring out who i am' bullshit, that i fuck up my life in the process. maybe it's a side effect of all the manic episodes i had, but i can't make any move (it seems) without sitting there and contemplating the great meaning of it all and what it means to me as a person or some crap like that. i get stuck up in my head with all these contemplations and then freaked out because everything seems more significant than it is... though i oscillate between feeling like things are TOO significant, and that things don't really matter at ALL. but there is no middle ground, which is one of my big weaknesses, never allowing for a 'reasonable' or 'cautious' or 'tempered' reaction to things.

and there i go analyzing my head again.

it kind of struck me the other day, as i was thinking about life/school/everything, that some of the people i go to school with (and rest assured i do believe it is with some of the nest and brightest in the ocuntry, my classmates are uber smart and ambitious and i do not mean to disparage anyone by what i say), some of them went straight from HS to undergrad; from undergrad to law school; from law school to the cushy big firm summer associate and then FT job.

where in there is room for just leaning back and ... i don't know... it obviously didn't do me all that well, but i still feel like my year off was valuable in teaching me some important life lessons and broadening my perspective of life and my role in society or whatever. seriously. and even this time off now that I am taking and trying to sort myself out -- it feels like i learn something every day, whether it be externally available or just the product of an internal reflection process that allows me to view things in a different perspective, (one may call this an overly-analytical nature but hey).

meh. I don't know what I am trying to say. i have so many thoughts and ideas and analyses and i just wish i had someone i could blather them all too so they wouldn't all stay in my head like a nascent tornado waiting to rip shit up.

la la la. time for another useless, boring, and completely parasitic day of tanning, reading, and, if the mood strikes me, eating. maybe i'll go get my nose re-pierced today. my nose ring fell out at some point during geneva debauchery, and i want it back, because not putting it back in, feels in some ways, like giving into The Man. ;-P

blah

2007-06-28T23:39:38Z

ugh i feel so behind. i haven't been keeping up on the news at all so i didn't even realize important scotus cases were being decided... the parents v. seattle for one, and then there is a case involving a mentally ill petitioner AND the death penalty (panetti v. quarterman) - which is like, doubly of interest to me. blah i must get back on track and at least attempt to be an informed individual instead of navel-gazing all the time. when i tell therapists i'm sick of it they get displeased with me. "blah blah focus on yourself blah blah".

go fuck a goat! hmph.

.. scurrying off to read the ops and pretend i am even remotely cognizant of what is going on in the world around me...

avoidance

2007-06-28T21:48:12Z

i have been avoiding LJ because i don't want to relive/write down my shambles meltdown stupid fucking idiocy.

i want to write, because i am getting all caught up in my head with stuff and not being able to express it anywhere. but i just can't handle informing all of how much i really do suck, because i have locked those feelings away for the time being. and i don't want to go there yet. so i think i am just going to resume writing without offering any long-winded explanations as to why i am no longer in switzerland, and probably not going to be back in school until at least january.

yeah. rock on, me.

i have been doing a lot of reading and thinking though (some good some bad). and its interesting to see who in my life is supportive and there for me, and who rather just disappears, etc.

mother-beast is being suprisingly non-rotten.

fun weekend coming up, will try to report positive news, as i refuse to wallow. i can feel myself wanting to wallow. must. not. wallow.

uuck.

useless

2007-06-08T10:40:39Z

omg i am dyyyyyiiiiiiinnng.

since Big Boss is out of town on some mission in fucking Kazakhstan or somesuch, I have NOTHING to do. And, since apparently I am Not Cool, not enough ppl email me to keep me occupied. I am SO leaving after lunch. Republican Douche chick needs to borrow one of my adapter plugs so we are going to my place to get it for her (I am SO accomodating. Fuck all y'all who think I am selfish. I am SELF-ABSORBED, but not SELFISH)

I am not coming back to work after aforementioned adapter plug venture.

Whatev.

I'm wearing a short-ish skirt today, with spikey high heels. My legs look long & lean. Glorious.

eternitye @ 2007-06-08T11:28:00

2007-06-08T09:34:36Z

omg. i am soooooooooooooooo bored. i have no work to do, and there is only so long that i can listen to Ivan describing all the various activities of the UNHCR.

OMG. Jenn (republican who i am befriending b/c she is well connected with the social scene; as long as we don't talk money or politics it should be ok. boys. always safe to talk about boys.) Anyway, Jenn needs to go back to my house with me to see if my plug-adapter thing will work on her comp. And I am thinking that I will not go back to work after that, but rather pull on a swimsuit and lounge on the balcony. Whatev. It's not like I have actual work to do. A nap would be grand.
I have to see this random woman's room for rent at 6pm, so I could get ready before then and figure out the tram/bus situation.

Stupid fuckwad roommate shortened my sleep this morn, so I figure I have at least two hours to "catch up", as it were.

Spent a "petite pause" w/co-workers discussing politics (in french!!!) and got a high five for hating Bush. Refreshing after exposure to republican-oriented type.

I love this. Love it. Why am I always so happy and excited about Europe?? Aaah who cares. I am loving life here.